I entered the darkened abode, shaking off the chill of the cold Colorado fall evening. Immediately, I sensed that something was wrong. Very wrong.

I looked around my living room. It was trashed! Debris everywhere! Revolting filth, mind-boggling chaos!

A split-second of panic, and reflexively my hand went for my cell phone to alert the authorities.

Then I recalled my weekend of sloth, spent watching tivoed South Park and TV Funhouse episodes while dozing in and out of consciousness on my couch.

Slightly relieved upon realizing that I was the one responsible for trashing my living room, I loosened my grip on my cell phone. But yet, something was still amiss. Fifteen years of seeing the worst violence humanity could dole out to one another have honed my “spidey senses”.

Something horrible had happened here tonight. I could just feel it. The abomination. The unholiness.

Then I saw it. The empty shell. The insides had all been eaten — oh, the humanity!

Who could have done such a heinous evisceration?

I was only gone a few minutes. Yet that was enough time for the criminal to take what they wanted. No concern with the fact it wasn’t his to take. No afterthought about who would be hurt.

Yes, my entire takeout carton of Boston Market Macaroni and Cheese was completely gutted!

Following the violent pattern of drool and cheese splatters on the wall and carpet, I came upon the one responsible for the slaughter.

His eyes plead innocence. However, the ring of yellow on the muzzle and nose told me everything I needed to know about the evening’s events. A scene of gore and brutality that flew in the face of God.

My macaroni and cheese. Gone. Snuffed in the prime of it’s take-out life.

Goddamnit Moose!

This entry was posted on Monday, January 21st, 2008 at 3:35 pm and is filed under From Past Blogs, Pets, Photos, Stories.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.