Nicole has a post about being accosted in an elevator by some dude who basically told her she was stupid because of what she ordered for lunch.
It reminded me of a similar thing that happened to me about five years ago, also in an elevator. So I thought I’d post the story again.
Can’t we all just get along?
Sure, we come from different philosophical mindsets when it comes to coffee.
I realize society frowns upon using straws to drink hot beverages. Hell, it says so right on the straw wrapper: “Not for use in hot beverages.” But as far as I know, there’s no LAW against it!
Am I really hurting anyone? Is what I do in the privacy of my own morning routine really any of your business?
Yet it continues. I am constantly hassled in public by strangers. Like this morning. Elevator Dude says to me, “Oh, so coffee is coming with STRAWS now?”
Who asked you, buttlick?
You say that drinking coffee through a straw is an affront to society; maybe even an affront to nature itself. You could probably find a Bible quote to twist around so that my drinking coffee through a straw becomes an affront to God.
I don’t buy it! Just because most of society is raised to grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, and drink coffee out of a mug doesn’t mean that is the only legitimate lifestyle choice!
I am human too! I have feelings! If I spill coffee upon myself, do I not burn?
So here’s my message to you, elevator dude, and all those strawophobes out there. Do not mock my lifestyle choice. Mind your own damn business. I bet you have your own little food or beverage secrets yourself. Maybe you don’t shake well before using. Maybe you don’t serve chilled. Maybe you pick your teeth with your car keys.
Let he who is without food sin cast the first straw wrapper!
Stay strong against the assalopes, Nicole!
Entries (RSS)
I don’t drink anything with a straw but I wouldn’t think of saying something to someone who does, particularly a stranger. I’m sure as I get older I’m going to start calling people out on their rudeness. I’m too polite to be rude back but sometimes people just don’t get it. Drink on, DrunkBunny!
i eat my chipotle burrito bowls with their overly-salted chips as my “fork”
Jack, I still use a fork, but I also have a weakness for the burrito bowls of Chipotle, coupled with their over-salted chips.