This is not the first job I’ve ever had where I’ve had to deal with an unpleasant or crazy coworker or whatever. It IS the first job where I’ve had a bad reputation with my managers… but it’s also the first job where my managers didn’t know me and never saw me work. This is the first job where I felt my manager had no clue about (or confidence in) the quality of my work. This is the first job where I’ve had someone actively retaliate against me. So a lot of firsts for me here.
I’m glad I’ve been in the workplace long enough to know that this is an anomaly. To know that even if I’ve contributed to certain problems, overall it’s not me at the root of all dysfunction. If this was my first career experience, it would have shattered me and convinced me that I’m a horrible person. But certain things remind me that in the end, despite my mistakes, it’s really not me - it’s them!
Last night my manager from three jobs ago called me and pretty much offered me a job. I couldn’t take the pay cut, but how flattering is that? This woman is brilliant too, has her MBA, and is a tough cookie - fair, but not easily impressed.
Even one of the managers where I work now - the one that has bought in to the other coworker’s bad propaganda campaign against me - she isn’t my manager any more but she was and she has expressed confidence in the work that I’m capable of (even if it’s not part of my assigned tasks right now).
So these things keep me holding on, but when even one person around you is crying to everyone about what a horrible person you are, it’s hard not to let that affect how you see yourself.
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