Think back over the last six months of your job.
Have you ever complained about anything or reacted negatively to anything or anyone?
For example, if someone did something annoying, did you ever say to a friend at work, “That was annoying!” or “I can’t believe they’re doing it that way - it doesn’t make sense!”
Now take every moment of frustration that you ever let show to any friend you have at work… and then imagine if one of those friends made an extra effort to be your confidant. She read emails over your shoulder and asked you what was going on. Started conversations by complaining herself, and you joined in the “bitch session”.
Now imagine if that person exaggerated your half of the conversations x10, documented it, then had regular phone conferences with the management team of your department to report every confidential word you shared with them, and making up even more stuff. Keep in mind the management team works out of state and they have NEVER observed you perform your job in almost two years, and never worked with you personally, so they don’t really know you and in fact never want to even hear from you unless there’s a problem, which paints you as negative to begin with.
Imagine if that person had gotten into trouble about THEIR job performance and was using your conversations to try and deflect attention away from complaints about her. Imagine how much they’d “amplify the drama” and distort the truth in said “behind your back” reports to the management team.
Now imagine how you’d react once you finally learned this was going on. You’d probably try to defend yourself, right? Keep in mind that the managers have month after month of reports that you’re basically unhappy to the point of mental instability (keep in mind that 75 percent of what is making you unhappy at your job is the very person who has been filing the negative reports about you, but even with her around you’re not unhappy to the point of being psycho at work). Wouldn’t every attempt to defend yourself seem to make you look even worse, since the managers have already made up their mind about you based on the one person’s reports?
Then look back and realize how that person has played you all along… provoking disagreements only when within earshot of someone else. Saving the hateful and inappropriate things she says to you for times when no one is there to witness it.
I have NEVER had a problem with a coworker like I have with this one. She’s made it a battle and she’s definitely winning, and I played right into her hands by trying to treat her like a friend and confidant, trying to get over my dislike of her by bridging the gap. And she used every second of it to try to get me to lose my job.
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I’m so lucky to have truly wonderful coworkers. I work for the government, so of course there’s a lot of complaining coming out of my mouth - the government insists on making everything 100 times more difficult than it needs to be, and they’re constantly replacing things that work well with things that are horrible. If someone took all the bitching I’ve done lately and used it against me it would be bad.
It’s tough when someone’s poisoning the well like that. She must have some serious insecurity or control-freak issues, or perhaps some friend that she wants to get into your position. Just remember, it’s nothing to do with you — she’d probably do the same to anyone else in your position. She sounds like one of the sociopaths next door.