My Monday was productive.
Every Monday (OK I skipped last Monday and pee-yew paid the price for it), I clean out my cat’s litterbox, my rabbit’s cage (I have one rabbit with digestive problems so this is sometimes not fun), and their litterbox as well. Monday is trash day and I have to have all that shit (literally) out by the curb by 6:30, so I usually get up at 5am to do it.
What did I do yesterday? Mash up my foot by stepping on the sharp edge of the lid of the cat’s litterbox, fall and send dirty litter all over my carpet. The tiny grained, scoopable sticky kind. So here I was at 5am shop-vaccing with a hurt foot and no coffee in sight.
I was in a foul mood anyway because of the weekend. You see, I’ve only been in love with one man in the past six years. We were friends for about 3 years, it turned into more last summer, but he never really wanted me for anything more than companionship and a bootie call. It broke my heart and crumbled my confidence. When we parted ways in December, it was UGLY. I don’t know that I ever said such horrible hateful things to someone when ending things. And it was via email, so it could be referenced again and again. Phrases like “hate your guts” “rot in hell” “never EVER contact me again” were used with abandon. And he didn’t contact me for five months, which was fine with me. The approx. 6 months I “dated” him were filled with tears and disappointment, even though he never promised me a goddamn thing.
Well last Friday out of the blue he called me but I can never understand him on the phone because I think we both have the shittiest cell services on the planet, plus he’s very soft-spoken so our conversations typically were me saying “what?” and him getting frustrated. When we even had conversations that is. Friday was no different, and I never could find out why he called me. He said he’d call me back Friday night but never did, and no call this weekend either.
Typical him. I think I’ll call him YoYoBoy because that’s what he does. Draws you in then violently pushes you away, and it’s all good with him because he’s the one standing still. You’re the one spinning on the end of his string getting very nauseous.
Anyway, I finally email him Monday and said if he wanted to talk to me call me and if he didn’t then at least we ended things on a more civil note with our brief phone call and good luck.
He called me yesterday afternoon saying his grandfather is very sick and will probably die so he’s flying out-of-state. Which of course makes me want to go into “caretaker/comforter” mode immediately except for the fact that because he ignored me all weekend, we never got to get to why the fuck he even called me again in the first place.
So now if I keep my distance and act aloof, I’m now going to be a jerk because his grandfather is on his death bed. But how to be a supportive friend when we’ve spent the last five months hating each other (well, I can only speak for my feelings). When he called yesterday I told him to call if he needed me but of course he put it all on me, I’m supposed to call him. What a crazy situation!
He knows about this website I’m sure, but I’m not worried about him coming here and reading this because he has no interest in anything that is not about him, and I know I’m making him sound dicky. But he’s not conceited. He is just so wrapped up in his own self-preservation he can never see anything beyond it, and I feel sorry for people like that because one of the most interesting things in life, in my opinion, is the exploration of the thoughts and feelings of other people. But that will never capture his interest, so I feel I can write here freely about YoYoBoy.
ANYway, I do believe him about his grandfather but I think he blew off calling this weekend and that was a dick move (after all, who called in the first place - him!) I think he’s using his grandfather as an excuse but that’s just a gut feeling. So being supportive, even though I don’t trust him at all and don’t know why he even contacted me, plus he’s put it all on me by saying I have to call him, is going to be difficult.
I traveled a lot last year and get lonely on the road. Both road trips I took when we were dating, he didn’t call or email either time - just ignored me. So it’s hard being supportive to a guy who wouldn’t in a million years think of someone else long enough to return the favor.
Yeah, why did I love this guy? I’m retarded.
Despite that unpleasantness, I had a productive day yesterday. I worked 11 hours (I get SO MUCH more work done when working from home), pulled weeds in my back yard for 2 hours straight (have taken a total of 4 garden trash bags out of there in a week), and worked on both my blogs, as you can see from my post flurry.
The next two weeks will be crazy at work.
No prospects at all on the job front.
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ok, I’m going to go out on a limb here and I know it’s none of my business… but. You don’t have to be supportive of him. Yes, it’s sad that his grandfather is sick, but it’s not your job to comfort him. He was horrible to you and in the interest of your self preservation, you should block his number and his email and let him fend for himself. He really, really hurt you and he’s not a nice guy. You deserve way better. Ok, I’m done now. Best of luck with it. *hug*
P.S. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t approve this comment, it’s really none of my business anyway, and you don’t really know me. So if I don’t see this comment anywhere, ever - I promise not to be offended. k? k.
@Christine: Thanks for your support Christine!
I have been so busy with work that I haven’t called him yet anyway. I wouldn’t mind having things more civil with him, but the more I think about how he called me, didn’t tell me why, then left the responsibility for communication in MY lap, it pisses me off and I think it’s manipulative.