At my daughter’s high school graduation last month, I saw a woman I went to high school with. She was a cute, bubbly cheerleader in high school. When she graduated, she married a nice Mormon boy and started having kids–six, I think. Over the years, I’ve seen her at little league games, school assemblies, etc. She seemed to have the perfect white picket fence life. I was shocked to see her in a wheelchair at the graduation. It appeared her body was ravaged by some type of neurological condition. MS? Her husband was lovingly holding her hand and she was surrounded by all of her kids. She looked as proud and full of joy as the rest of the parents in the audience.

You’re right. I couldn’t imagine going through that kind of thing alone. Of course, you have to give love to get it. I’m always joking around that my final days will likely be spent alone in a Scotty trailer out in the middle of the Mojave Desert. I’ll be barefoot, toothless…and probably drunk.

I agree that our attitude really can dictate how we handle things. For example, YoYoBoy has felt sorry for himself since I’ve known him. Has he had bad luck like the rest of us? Yes. Is his job shitty sometimes? Yes, but he earns a decent living. But he DECIDES his life is sucky so he takes no joy from his kids (although he’s a good dad, it’s never enough to cheer him up) and he throws away people who love him (not just me) with both hands so he can reach out for something better. He’ll never be happy.

I’m not talking about “sad sacks” like him, who just decide that nothing short of spectacular is good enough.

I’m talking about average people who may not have the positive (almost miraculous) attitude seen by others in their situation, BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE THE RESOURCES OTHERS DO. Some people don’t have supportive families or children who love them. Therefore they don’t have as many possibilities to look forward to through tough times.

I just don’t think we can judge people who are facing horrible odds and have no support and no love to carry them through. We can’t look at my boss, who is handsome and smart and is surrounded by family and friends who love him, and expect his reaction to his injury to be the same as some 19 year old from a horrible abusive home life who became crippled in Iraq and is returning to a life where no one is there to help him or care about him.

Everyone has the potential to turn their situation around or make the best of the situation. It’s all in the mind. Living isn’t just about what physically happens to us.

Those people I don’t feel sorry for, not because it’s politically incorrect…(since when is it incorrect to have compassion for another human being, give me a break), but because even though physically they may not be able to do what I can, mentally, emotionally, they are light years beyond where I am now. Those are the types of people I look up to.

I learned this years ago when I was an MP and was helping out with the Special Olympics. Kids all over the place with all sorts of disabilities…but you never saw a happier kid. There wasn’t any whining or tantrums being thrown about not getting this toy, getting an ice cream right now or not winning first place and the shiny blue ribbon…they didn’t give a crap about any of that…they were just as happy as could be participating in the race and seeing all sorts of people, even myself, cheering them on. They had a blast. That day I realized that those kids knew the meaning of life….I did not. I didn’t feel sorry for them by the end of the day…I figured out that, as Christine said, they were way more evolved than I was.

I’ve faced a few big problems in my life, but I never once considered giving up. I guess I’m just a born fighter. I’m also convinced that things will always get better if you tough it out. I believe that to my core. How often have you seen someone give up when it seemed so clear to everyone else that they were just about to turn the corner? I like your fog metaphor. I think it’s very accurate. Depression can do that to people, I guess.