I got my federal and state tax returns in. I owe so much on credit cards, the refunds won’t even make a dent. But I decided to splurge and get some things I really wanted for a long time.

I’ve been researching prices and user reviews on the Cricut Personal Cutting Machine for over a year and a half now. It retails for about $250, and sells on Ebay for more than that sometimes (why would you pay MORE on Ebay for something you could buy cheaper at a retailer and have the option of returning it?) I’ve never seen bids on these machines end for less than about $220 once you pay for shipping/handling. The cheapest retail price I’ve ever seen was at the evil Wal-Mart for $184 plus shipping. I try to avoid supporting that demon corporation, but of course I got a $20 gift certificate for Christmas, so I was tempted. But instead I bid in an Ebay auction and won it. After paying for shipping and insurance, it’s only costing me $165 for a new-in-package Cricut! YAY! I feel like I got quite a bargain from the $250 it sells for.

Then on Buy.com they have a 3rd generation 4gb Ipod Nano, refurbished. I normally shun refurbished electronics but this still comes with all factory accessories and has gotten great reviews. With an online promotion code for a 5% discount, it ended up only costing me $94! I wanted an 8gb in red or the new hot pink color available on apple.com, but those sell for $199. For the 4gb I figured I saved $55 off buying it new. I don’t like to listen to new, unfamiliar music very often so I figure 1000 songs is plenty for me. (My old ipod was a 20gb, much older generation with the extra buttons and a black and white screen - I think it was stolen by the guy sitting next to me on a flight back from Cincinnati last summer when I became sick on the flight and was distracted by severe pain. I bought that one used and only paid $90 for that one as well.) My bargain was detracted from because I opeted for faster shipping ($14 more), rather than the free shipping that could take up to 9 business days. I have a trip coming up and I want to have it before the trip.

I also bought a cute little wallet to protect my ipod when I carry it in my purse. I love pink and brown as a color combination. Retails for $25, I got it for $14.50.

A really, really cool thing is that my parents won bluetooth wireless ipod earphones as a prize somewhere, and they’re giving those to me for free.

So even without counting the wireless headphones, and even after paying shipping and insurance, I saved almost $150 today, after spending $280.

Bargains make me happy.

Now I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had some nasty things in my mouth from time to time.  But few things were as rank as my first drink of Red Bull.

I’m all about better living through chemicals, from caffeine to alcohol and everything in between (as long as it’s legal of course, because our lawmakers know what is best for us).  So you would think that Red Bull and I would be a match made in heaven.

Nothing could prepare me for my first swallow.  It tasted like a cross between dust, pee, lemon Pledge, and despair.  “This can’t be right,” I thought to myself.  “This drink is everywhere.  It HAS to taste good!  Surely the people of American society wouldn’t drink something that tastes this bad, just because of clever marketing and a cool brand image!”  So I tried again.  This time, I thought I could also detect a hint of dishwashing soap, and fur.

I had heard that many of “the kids these days” are drinking Red Bull mixed with vodka.  Thank God I didn’t put the vodka in the Red Bull before I tried it.  That would have been vodka I could have never gotten back - a tragic loss.

Aah, nothing like the sweet stroll down memory lane, as one delves into little-gazed-upon folders deep in the bowels of one’s hard drive. It’s time for Random Crap From My Hard Drive Monday! Play along, won’t you? (If you do, leave a comment!)

Moose and Bosco, a stray kitten I had for a while until I found her a FANTASTIC home where she is the center of the universe to her owner. They look happy and cozy here, because they ended up being bestest friends.

But they didn’t start out that way.

An EKG of my PSVT, which happened to me intermittently for 14 years before I had an ablation. This EKG was done one day when I was working for a heart specialty hospital. I worked with a heart rate above 200, having chest pain for about four hours before they finally slapped me in a bed and gave me two doses of Adenosine (stops your heart for a few seconds, which feels HORRIBLE). Then they made me work for a few more hours before the charge nurse got off his lazy ass and covered my patients so I could go home.

Guys, is this important?

Happy Easter, or other spring holiday of your choice!

Nicole has a post about being accosted in an elevator by some dude who basically told her she was stupid because of what she ordered for lunch.

It reminded me of a similar thing that happened to me about five years ago, also in an elevator.  So I thought I’d post the story again.

Can’t we all just get along?

Sure, we come from different philosophical mindsets when it comes to coffee.

I realize society frowns upon using straws to drink hot beverages. Hell, it says so right on the straw wrapper: “Not for use in hot beverages.” But as far as I know, there’s no LAW against it!

Am I really hurting anyone? Is what I do in the privacy of my own morning routine really any of your business?

Yet it continues. I am constantly hassled in public by strangers. Like this morning. Elevator Dude says to me, “Oh, so coffee is coming with STRAWS now?”

Who asked you, buttlick?

You say that drinking coffee through a straw is an affront to society; maybe even an affront to nature itself. You could probably find a Bible quote to twist around so that my drinking coffee through a straw becomes an affront to God.

I don’t buy it! Just because most of society is raised to grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, and drink coffee out of a mug doesn’t mean that is the only legitimate lifestyle choice!

I am human too! I have feelings! If I spill coffee upon myself, do I not burn?

So here’s my message to you, elevator dude, and all those strawophobes out there. Do not mock my lifestyle choice. Mind your own damn business. I bet you have your own little food or beverage secrets yourself. Maybe you don’t shake well before using. Maybe you don’t serve chilled. Maybe you pick your teeth with your car keys.

Let he who is without food sin cast the first straw wrapper!

Stay strong against the assalopes, Nicole!

(Click for big.)

Per the Rabbit Bytes mailing list:

A Rabbit mill in Barrie ON Canada has been shut down, and SPCA has seized 400 (!) bunnies.
They have already started euthanizing!
Please help pass on this alert, and help spread the word!
If there is anything you can do to help, please do!

http://www.rabbitrescue.ca
phone#: 905-875-4343
need all the help they can get
SPCA Barrie branch has a large number of bunnies that are also in danger of being killed.
SPCA Barrie - see just a few of the many rabbits they have HERE.  Also, they are accepting donations. http://www.barrie.ontariospca.ca
phone#: 705-728-7311

Could you PLEASE pass on this alert, and help spread the word about this?
THANK YOU!!!

Also, pictures of some of those rescued Barrie bunnies are up here:
http://www.rabbitsonline.net
in the “Rescue Me” section (login required), then “emergency help needed, Ontario transport…”

NOT IN CANADA? WANT TO HELP? DONATE MONEY to the RABBIT RESCUE and/or the SPCA at the links above!

You make him jealous!

Or at least that is the lesson you would have learned if you had read the comic For Better or For Worse over the past week or two.

Elizabeth has an emotionally abusive ex, Warren, who cheated on her with her best friend and made her travel to the Canada outback to visit them before they told her.

So she gets back with Anthony, the “nice guy” she dated all through high school.

Fast forward to some time later, and despite being together constantly and vague statements from Anthony to string Elizabeth along, no marriage proposal.

Then one night Warren shows up out of the blue, wanting Elizabeth to take him back. The phone rings and inexplicably, Warren feels it is his place to answer Elizabeth’s house phone. Of course it’s Anthony calling.

Elizabeth later explains that nothing funny was going on, and Anthony believes her. But still, he must have been threatened out of his comfy, “let’s coast like this forever” reverie because THE VERY NEXT DAY he and Elizabeth are engaged.

Isn’t that such a lovely lesson for our young ladies? “Make him jealous if you want to snare him!” and “Men only want a toy when they see another man wanting to play with it, like every creature with a Y chromosome has the psyche of a two year old at the toybox screaming ‘mine! mine!’”

OK, I think the latter point is actually true. But still…

Oh, and I LOVE how Anthony and Elizabeth leave the prospect of getting married UP TO ANTHONY’S DAUGHTER TO HAVE THE FINAL SAY. Yeah, let’s leave the major life decisions up to the toddlers in the house! (Sad thing is that many of today’s kids are truly being raised this way.)

“If it’s OK with you…” !?!?

Anthony’s daughter Francie is a spoiled little obnoxious brat that gets away with saying the rudest things and has been raised to think she is the center of the universe, getting her way at every turn.  Even though she is fictional, it annoys me that the comic author is portraying this child’s behavior as being cute and funny.

I’m sorry for the lack of updates this week, but you see, I’ve been going through my own personal tragedy.  On Sunday, the remote control to my satellite TV receiver/DVR quit working due to a broken “SAT” button that tells the receiver, “Hey, quit playing my DVD player and get back to changing my channels and working my DVR!”.

I have emergency training so I was able to stay calm and call the Dish Network to ask for a replacement.

Forced to go through several minutes of automated “troubleshooting” left me very annoyed; listen jackasses!  I know it’s NOT a battery problem.  It’s the problem of a button that was there, and now is in several pieces rattling around inside the remote itself, and thus is no longer pressable!

The idiot that answered the line when I finally got a real person was just as annoying.

I explained the problem:  the button is broken, missing, and thus is unpressable.  I needed a replacement remote.

Dish Guy:  (obviously reading from a script) “Well, let’s do some  troubleshooting to see if we can fix it over the phone.”

Me:  “You can replace a missing button over the phone?  That’s positively magical!  Can you give me some winning lottery numbers too?”

Dish Guy:  “So, the button isn’t lighting up red when you press it?”

Me:  “There is no button to press.  Therefore, I would have to say that the nonexistent button’s red light is nonexistent too.  You need to send me a new remote.  You can’t fix this over the phone.”

Dish Guy:  “When is the last time you replaced your batteries?”

Me:  “I replaced them eighteen times with brand new batteries before I called, because like you, I thought at first that batteries could amazingly reassemble a button that is in 8 pieces and rattling around inside my remote.  I was just as shocked as you are that it didn’t fix my problem.  You need to send me a new remote.  You can’t fix this over the phone.”

Dish Guy:  “Do the other buttons light up when you press them?”

Me:  “Yes they do, but the most important button of all is the “SAT” button because unless I can live to press this button again, I will never be able to control my DVR and receiver again.  So other buttons lighting up won’t help me, and pressing them didn’t make the remote grow another SAT button.  You need to send me a new remote.  You can’t fix this over the phone.”

Dish Guy:  “Is the power light on your receiver on?”

Me:  “Yes, and I can do some functions with the limited buttons on the receiver itself.  It’s not a receiver problem.  I can see the problem right in front of me.  It is not a mystery.  I have diagnosed it using my genius IQ.  The problem is that the button DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE.  You need to send me a new remote.  You can’t fix this over the phone.”

And we go round and round.

Apparently that guy assumes that members of the general public are just as goddamn stupid as HE is himself.

But the story ends happily because my new remote came in the mail and it only took me 45 minutes to get it working.  I’m happy again!